do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
