Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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