Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
