So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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