some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
