You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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