Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
