Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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