I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
