this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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