She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
