oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
