Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
