Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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