We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
