i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I think I sprained my soul last night
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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