So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I am spending my child support on dildos
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
