yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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