no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
