so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
accomplished twins. life is a go
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
