the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
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