You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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