sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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