And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize