she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
