I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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