Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
