im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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