I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
