my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
