btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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