If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
