he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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