We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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