dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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