pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
