u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
