Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
