Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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