Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
