How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
