Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
