I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
