i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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