absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
My hand turned me down
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
He felt like a one man threesome
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
