Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
