the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
