I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
