Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry clo29tx hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I cont stop tolking in a british axsent

Fav 45 4413 1363
share tweet
(916): View more from California

It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.

(1-916): View more from California

That's why you should quit smoking.

Fav 3 817 2304
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(203): View more from Connecticut

He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.

Fav 33 11589 1186
share tweet
(951): View more from California

So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.

(909): View more from California

dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?

Fav 43 7383 1446
share tweet
(613): View more from Ontario

Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.

Fav 19 6543 1366
share tweet
(931): View more from Tennessee

Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring

Fav 2 1444 834
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(203): View more from Connecticut

We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese

Fav 11 2786 991
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(952): View more from Minnesota

I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.

Fav 1 1082 550
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(920): View more from Wisconsin

Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.

Fav 0 11 36
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT