dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
