I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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