Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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