I'm drive I can fine osifer
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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