you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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