who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
