oh god the rape fog is back!
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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