i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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