i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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