I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
