This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
