I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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