It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I want you more than these girls want KFC
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
